He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
