so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Come on in and take your pants off
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