So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
