More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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