Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
