Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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