Yo dont text me then not text me
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
