Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
