I could have mohawked her pubes.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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