Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
