Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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