just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
