The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
