I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
