You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize