He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
