Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
