someone threw a dead crab at me
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Randomize