Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
