i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
