I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
