So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Randomize
