I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
