You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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