i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
