One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
