I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he thought i was a dude.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
