maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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