she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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