Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize