I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i think i just lost a toe
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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