I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
