The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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