i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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