I'm going to jail i love you
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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