he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
