I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
