Someone shit on the floor
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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