So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
