Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
