i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
