nut hugger
This girl is more easily done than said...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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