I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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