Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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