forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
