i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
