I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
