i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Come see our sink grown plant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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