He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
