Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize