shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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