Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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