Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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