I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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