please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
