oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
