ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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