he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
