My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
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