i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize