i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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