I skipped work to stalk him.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize