I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Randomize
