I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
