we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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