I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
