fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
