i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
