Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
