Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
